Day 18 GF Reflection: Losing and regaining weight is humiliating

I’ve decided that living gluten free will mean that I will be forced to stop weight cycling. You know, losing and gaining weight over and over again. Not only is it humiliating…its so unhealthy.

Thinking back to the time when I had such a high success rate in the gym and my health…I was not eating processed or gluten filled foods. I can look back and say now that the moment that wheat bread touched my lips…I was doomed to gain it all back.

Losing weight has always been a struggle for me.

There were two periods of my life when I lost a lot of weight on a strict diet and strenuous exercise regime. In 2009 I was in the best shape of my life. I was also practically  starving myself to look that way. It was not healthy either.

I have never been able to find that balance or zen weight. Trust me, I desperately tried to lose weight for our wedding last year, and it would not budge. Not even with a trainer.  It hurt my feelings that I had to be fat Shawna on my wedding day. My husband loves me, though. He has loved me through this whole process… and continues to be supportive and encouraging.  Our wedding day was the best day of my life!

I feel very lucky to have figured out that my body was rebelling gluten and not the gym. I love lifting weights. I love the rush of a morning workout. I feel fortunate that with the help of my doctor I can get back into my morning workout routine. My energy levels improve every day. It amazes me that I can wear high heels to work all day. There is hope even when I have set backs.

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